Catharsis

I still have it in me ^_^

I ran 4 miles in 23 minutes today :D

As tough as life can be sometimes on the mind, spirit, or the heart, find an outlet to channel it into my friend.

I feel reborn everytime I run until my lungs feel like they are on fire; each time I grunt under the stress of a few hundred pounds in the gym, i feel like I am building a new man out of myself.

One day this will all be worth it.

Mon cœur est ma faiblesse

I wonder many things as I walk down that beautifully silent road by myself. The glow of the orange streetlight dimly paves the way as it highlights a wave of snow which gently graces my downcast forehead.

It's one of those moments where you pause, breathe, and enjoy the esoteric beauty that few are not blind to in this world.

And yet, while my heart tries to enjoy something incomprehensible, I still feel that buried feeling of discord resurfacing.

At the risk of sounding like a pessimist/misanthrope/cynic, the blindness to the effect our actions have upon one another sicken me.

I love life and I deep down want to love everyone no matter who they are. Deviating from my usual moderate stance on everything, I truly believe in inherent good.

Everyone, from the murderers to the initiators of genocide, in my honest opinion, were good at some point in their lives. Even psychotic killers gravitate towards what they existentially believe is righteous.

Sadly, when we all strive for personal happiness, pain is resultant. I've seen it to the point where it's become trite. It's disgusting how over time, we lie to each other. Through those lies, we lose trust, we become jaded to joy and even life itself.

I've seen love in its purest form being discarded, women damage themselves consciously, and the most painful lifeless look in the empty eyes of a human shell.

Sometimes the extreme polarity of humanity is too much for me to handle. I want to sit somewhere and laugh, cry, and scream into the dark night. I guess absurdity in this case is amortized only by an absurd gesture/release.

I guess I can't escape the stereotypes of youth nor the aforementioned self-sabotage. I'm an impetuous hopeless romantic laying down random thoughts at 4:14 AM.

Purpose?

As we age, progress, and acclimate ourselves to new environments, it's rare that a change in ourselves is not a resultant of new surroundings. I live the life of a wanderer physically, mentally and spiritually. Due to the volatile lifestyle I live, it won't be a surprise if I'm a completely different person every day, but in such a case, why not have fun with the whole situation and record those quintessential moments?

I guess blogspot will serve as a decent medium for me to lay down my random thoughts as I travel through life. Maybe my stories/thoughts will help guide you as well or, on a superficial level, entertain you.

Enjoy the chaos and beauty of it all while it lasts.